I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feeling of complete uncertainty on that whirlwind day when we went to auction for our magnolia home. I’ll never forget seeing over a hundred people walking through the rooms of the house and feeling anger and jealousy about that fact that they were snooping through “my” house. But really, would it ever be my house?
I remember being confused during the auction about whether or not Kendall had the winning bid and never actually seeing the face of the man we were bidding against. I remember the auctioneer holding out on our high bid for at least five minutes as he attempted to squeeze more money out of the bids. Tears had definitely ensued by this point. And then… in a moment of pure bliss and to my utter disbelief… I heard the auctioneer shout “Sold! Kendall, you did it.”
It’s officially been one year since that day and honesty it feels like a decade. I never quite understood the full extent of what we were getting ourselves into that day at the auction. All I could seem to think about was curtains and throw pillows and paint colors. While Kendall and I were thankfully able to get the deal of a life time for our dream home, I never dreamed how much blood, sweat and tears that would be invested into this magnolia home of ours. Like, no idea. Kendall asks me almost on a daily basis if I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, would I?
I still don’t think that I can answer that question. I’m not going to pretend that it’s been an easy, dreamy process. This magnolia renovation isn’t just like a quick episode on HGTV where in just an hour’s time you can see a full transformation and the couple then lives happily ever after. What you don’t see in between those segments are the sleepless nights thinking about what needs to be done, the bumps and the bruises, the arguments over the really big things and the petty things. You don’t see the exhaustion and the acknowledgement that you’ll probably just have to walk on plywood floors for the rest of your life.
There have been a few days within the last month that I believe I have literally driven myself to a point of exhaustion. I have physically made myself ill and have had to take a few days of just lying flat on my back to recover. Those have been the days that make me question if we were actually sane and in the right state of mind that day of the auction. I might not have been, but my Kendall sure was. He knew what this process entailed all along. And all along he has been nothing but a steady, unwavering force of energy that pours his entire soul into this project. There’s no way on the planet that this would’ve happened without him. He has been my anchor to me during my darkest, weakest moments and all during that time he has made my dreams and visions for our home a reality.
There are days that I can be so angry with Kendall because all I want him to do is to put the hammer down and spend some time with me away from the house. But then there are the days that I just watch Kendall work away at a distance and am overwhelmed with love for that hard working man of mine. He is doing all of this for me and our future family. All of these days of dust on the counter tops and cold water showers and hanging clothes outside to dry will all pail in comparison to the days that we will spend enjoying our big beautiful home with our family that we will build.
Millions of memories we have made together in this past year of building our magnolia home have overwhelmed me today. So I guess to answer Kendall’s question, I still don’t know if I’d do it all over again. But what I do know is that it’s all going to be worth it.
Our doors are open and you are always welcome…